Having A Hard Time Praying

Prayer...
It's the lifeblood of a follower of Christ, a chaser of God.
Prayer has been defined as spiritual breathing... well, I guess I've been holding my breath for a while.

I don't know what it is, but I have had no desire to schedule off a time to "spend" with God. As I've mentioned before, I am a believer in the whole idea of practicing the presence of God, so God knows very well what I am going through. But there is something to be said about having a scheduled time with God where you read Scriptures, pray Scriptures, and petition God with your prayers (see Philippians 4:6-7). And, well, Ien having trouble with that.

I feel so burnt. I feel so tired. I feel like I do almost nothing for myself. I feel like I do not do anything I enjoy... except for playing bass and worshipping God that way.

But I know I need to come to God.

Maybe there's a sense of being ripped off. I know God is good, but somewhere deep inside my subconscious is a belief that it is too much hard work to get anything from God. I "know" it's not true, because Jesus Himself said:

"What father among you, if his son asks for a loaf of bread, will give him a stone; or if he asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, evil as you are, know how to give good gifts [gifts that are to their advantage] to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask and continue to ask Him!"

At the same time, I believe in being honest with God. And that's why I am sharing how I feel. I know God doesn't get mad or angry when I am honest with Him. He wants me to be honest. Nothing is more distasteful than someone who pretends everything is OK and good, but on the inside they are full of hate, anger, murderous thoughts, etc.

I use King David as my example. Look at some things he wrote:

- "I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High." - Psalm 7:17

- "Praise be to the LORD , for he showed his wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city." - Psalm 31:21

- "Sing praises to God, sing praises; sing praises to our King, sing
praises." - Psalm 47:6

- "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?" - Psalm 22:1

- "I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears." - Psalm 6:6

- "When I weep and fast, I must endure scorn;" - Psalm 69:10

- "You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound." - Psalm 4:7

- "Pour out your wrath on them; let your fierce anger overtake them." - Psalm 69:24

We see David showing emotions from joy and praise, to weeping and even anger or vengefulness. But David was always described as a "man after God's own heart." So, even though things don't seem to be going my way... at least in my eyes... I know that my God is for me and not against me. I know that He has a plan for my future, a plan to prosper me. Praise God!

Be blessed!