Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Feeling Depressed

I'm not having a good day at work... I'm really frustrated... I'm not a computer technician, but that's been the bulk of my work. I'm also sick and tired of not knowing how long I'll be here. I'm sick and tired of not having any definite direction for my career. I'M ALL OVER THE PLACE!

I'm tired of working in technology.

I want to get planted in the career/ministry I'll be working in for the rest of my life!

I'm tired of not knowing where I'm going. I'm tired of doing crap I don't like. I'm tired of working just for a paycheck!!!!

What's my dream job... It involves music (playing, listening)... It involves writing (on the web, blogging, screenplays, movies, maybe a book)... It involves teaching... Being with people... Talking to people about Jesus... It has to be creative in nature... And it pays well!

Is there a job like that out there? I don't know!!

But I refuse to allow depression to enter my life ever again. Even though I may not like where I am... It is GOD's will for my life right now. I just pray for some breakthrough for me and my wife.

2 comments:

KiR said...

Boris,
I can't say "I know what you're going through" because each person goes through something distinct and unique. But I'm supporting you in prayer. You have so many people who love you, and are here for you. I could quote common scriptures that you probably know better than I do.
You are loved and cared for. Maybe you'll start up a christian arts magazine - who knows. Teaching people to write, getting submission of Christian art, music, dramas...who knows. I would say - dream BIG, pray BIG.
You are so faithful to Him and so faithful to everyone that you meet. You are such an encouragement to others. I pray that you would be filled with a new hope, a new joy and a new passion.
Be blessed Boris. Sorry that my words are so few, but I am here to listen.

Boris said...

Thanks KiR, but as you can see, just moments later I was back on again. It's just these moods that try to take over sometimes. I'm not satisfied with where I am at, and I was super frustrated that day... but I know this is not my lot in life! AMEN! (I agreed to my own declaration... does that work? hmmm? :)