Re-Beginnings

OK, it has taken me seven days to finally start this new blog posting... well, actually, more like three and a half years.

I don't want to get into why I have not written for so long. All I want to do is write. The only New Year's resolution I made this year is to write more. I have been using twitter for some eight months or so, and just recently started a #kidlit review tumblr, but I guess I'm ready to delve into deeper issues.

I want to start then by reintroducing three Scriptures that have been at the core of me--of who I am--for the last fifteen to twenty years.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:4-7

Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” - Matthew 9:35-38

That's it for now (it's actually really late and I'm tired). I'll expand on what these Scriptures have meant to me, and what they mean to me now/today.

Proper Placement!

I know I haven't written in a while and so the few people who did read this blog, might not see this, but I have to put it out there, in hopes that if you are reading this, then this will speak to you.

Now, I've been sitting on this for a little while, but it is the time to post. I also apologize to those who don't believe that God can speak to us or that God wants to speak to us words of encouragement outside of His Word, the Bible. But I have experienced the truth and power in these "prophetic" words.

I "heard" or sensed God speak this to me on July 22nd, and I believe that it is a word of encouragement for everyone in the church.

"It seems the enemy is on a tear. He is trying to frighten us and keep us from seeing and knowing that God IS moving. He is afraid of what God is doing; of what the outcome will be in this world, in this generation. The Lord is moving and working. He is laying the foundations, so we might not see anything right now. It’s like He is working underground. He is doing stuff in the ground that we cannot see. Just like when a seed is planted, we do not see what is happening to the seed, when it is 'dying,' being transformed and developing roots, until we finally see the sprout and the plant rise up out of the soil. The Lord has been planting 'seeds' and they are about to rise up. 'Hold on for one more day,' says the Lord. The time IS coming. The time is coming. Just believe.

"I also hear, 'Proper placement! Proper placement!' This relates to the seeds planted as well as where we are planted. 'Proper placement!'"

After receiving that word, I felt it important to find out exactly what happens when you plant a seed. This is what I found:

What happens to a seed after it is planted?

The next step in the corn seeds life cycle is germination. Germination is the process that takes an inactive seed and starts cell division through the activation of enzymes. In order to trigger germination the seed must absorb 30% of its weight in water. Once the seed has absorbed enough water the next series of events occur in a distinct sequence. The first visual sign of germination is the emergence of the radical root.

The radical roots will emerge from the tip of the kernel. The coleoptile is the next structure to emerge; it emerges from the embryo side of the kernel. The coleoptile is often referred to as the spike; it is the cylindrical plant tissue that has a pointed tip. The coleoptile encloses the first 4 to 5 leaves of the corn plant. The final step in germination is the formation of the lateral seminal roots near the dent of the kernel.

The role of the seminal root system (radical & lateral seminal roots) is to anchor the young plant and to absorb water and nutrients for the first two to three weeks of the young corn plants life. The seminal root system helps support the plant until the permanent root system can be established.

After germination is completed, the next process is emergence. The first step in the emergence process is the mesocotyl elongating. The mesocotyl pushes the coleoptile towards the soil surface. Once the coleoptile senses light at the soil surface the leaves in the coleoptile ruptures the end of the coleoptile and the first true leaf emerges. Once the first leaf emerges emergence is completed.

I hope this encourages you to hold on, and to get your butt into proper placement. I believe that has to do with your local church. I know we don't "need" a church to be close to God... but we do need each other to accomplish what we have been called to accomplish in this world. God bless.

A Silver Lining?

This blog is a culmination of recent events and other random thoughts, so here goes... hope it says something to you.

I, for one, know how easy it is to be critical --overly critical-- and negative. I believe most of us are to some degree. You hang around an organization (be it school, work, or, yes, even church)
long enough (for some that's an hour and for others it's 5+ years) and you are bound to find something you will criticize and dislike greatly. And I'm trying to make this sound as general as possible, because this happens in relationships too. When you are "too close" to the situation, you only see the blemish or the greyness of the cloud, and you miss the silver lining.

You need to step back a bit... I need to step back a bit.

This past Saturday, I had the privilege to live out a dream! I, along with three other buddies, played a gig (yes, I play every Sunday morning, but playing a rock show has a completely different atmosphere... anyway!). We were the opening band for three other bands. But at first we were all pretty negative about the whole thing. My friends were all nervous because they felt we were not good enough, nor, at least, ready enough. I wasn't nervous, but my attitude showed pretty much the same underlining feeling. My attitude was that we were the opening act so it didn't matter if we were not good or not. In the end, we rocked the place. Everyone who spoke with us said how awesome we were. The best band there (in my opinion) raved how tight we sounded, and could not believed that we only really had two practices with the full band. The band right after us also approached us about being their opening act for some other shows they were doing. And then the organizer/promoter of a festival in Beauce, Quebec (I'll find out the name of the festival) invited us to play at the festival next summer!!! Isn't that crazy.

The next thing was that I had a pretty crappy father's day. My own dad wanted to go to his church picnic/bbq... in Croatian that means roast pork on a spit, not my idea of fun. I was hurt by this, that my father seemed to want to spend time with his friends and not his own son. Plus all I got was some shirts... anyone who knows me well knows I don't like getting clothes as gifts (you NEED clothes, they should never be gifts), but a CD or a DVD or just even some chocolate would have been awesome. So I was feeling pretty down on myself and on my dad in particular.

Then I read Praise in the Pain by my friend Kirtsen (haha, it's where I got the title... pretty smart, huh!). Anyway, what she wrote there sort of hit me. We're all broken people in one way or another, but when you make Jesus your Lord and accept His sacrifice and His forgiveness, all your wounds are healed. But, like with any wound, a scar is left behind. I keep picking at these scars rather than praising God for healing them. In fact, more often than not, I'm digging up these scars and finding the old wounds underneath... but are they really the old wounds or am I allowing the same, but new, wounds to be made in the same place (ooooo, pretty philosophical, my brother might be proud :).

Which leads me to the last "event", which happened this evening. I was writing in my dad's Father's day card... I felt no urgency to write in it sooner since we were not going to see him Sunday. I tried to get him a card that made some general Happy Father's day thoughts, but with a Christian overtone, because he wasn't the type of father that taught me how to hit or throw a baseball, or how to ride my bike, or any of those things. He wasn't the type of father I thought I wanted. Hmmm, it's hard when you long for something, but you don't get it... ever. I painted a much worse picture of my dad in my mind and heart than he really was... but again, I was missing the silver lining.

Let me share what the card said:
FRONT:

A Father's Love is a Blessing Always

That's even more profound than when I read it first or when I read it earlier this evening. That alone I can spend hours dissecting.
INSIDE, LEFT-HAND SIDE:

Thanks be to God for His gifts - 2 Corinthians 9:15

INSIDE, RIGHT-HAND SIDE:

You're a very special person,
and though the generous spirit
that you always share,
you bring the very heart of God's love
to everyone you meet.
The world is a better place
because of you,
and you deserve
a Father's Day that's just
as blessed as you are.

Honestly, on the surface, I did not really believe this of my dad. But as I was writing, something hit me... if my dad was really such a terrible person, how in the world did I turn out ok (minus the ticks, idiosyncrasies, OCDisms, quick temper, etc... :) I know that God can change many things in us... but no, I've always been a moral person... where'd that come from? I have always be ready to help others... where'd that come from? I know my dad's not perfect, but neither am I... yet somehow, I turned out ok. OK enough for a woman (Cindy) and her mother to deem me marriageable. OK enough to land and keep a fairly secure job at Dawson. OK enough to have the wisdom, intelligence and acquire the knowledge to own my own home, as well as a separate revenue generating property. OK enough to become a dad myself. Now, ultimately, Eliya will be the deciding factor of really how good a father my father was... but I now have no doubts how that one will end.

In our "fast food", "microwaveable" world, it is so easy to miss the long-term picture and thus miss the silver-lining.