Proper Placement!

I know I haven't written in a while and so the few people who did read this blog, might not see this, but I have to put it out there, in hopes that if you are reading this, then this will speak to you.

Now, I've been sitting on this for a little while, but it is the time to post. I also apologize to those who don't believe that God can speak to us or that God wants to speak to us words of encouragement outside of His Word, the Bible. But I have experienced the truth and power in these "prophetic" words.

I "heard" or sensed God speak this to me on July 22nd, and I believe that it is a word of encouragement for everyone in the church.

"It seems the enemy is on a tear. He is trying to frighten us and keep us from seeing and knowing that God IS moving. He is afraid of what God is doing; of what the outcome will be in this world, in this generation. The Lord is moving and working. He is laying the foundations, so we might not see anything right now. It’s like He is working underground. He is doing stuff in the ground that we cannot see. Just like when a seed is planted, we do not see what is happening to the seed, when it is 'dying,' being transformed and developing roots, until we finally see the sprout and the plant rise up out of the soil. The Lord has been planting 'seeds' and they are about to rise up. 'Hold on for one more day,' says the Lord. The time IS coming. The time is coming. Just believe.

"I also hear, 'Proper placement! Proper placement!' This relates to the seeds planted as well as where we are planted. 'Proper placement!'"

After receiving that word, I felt it important to find out exactly what happens when you plant a seed. This is what I found:

What happens to a seed after it is planted?

The next step in the corn seeds life cycle is germination. Germination is the process that takes an inactive seed and starts cell division through the activation of enzymes. In order to trigger germination the seed must absorb 30% of its weight in water. Once the seed has absorbed enough water the next series of events occur in a distinct sequence. The first visual sign of germination is the emergence of the radical root.

The radical roots will emerge from the tip of the kernel. The coleoptile is the next structure to emerge; it emerges from the embryo side of the kernel. The coleoptile is often referred to as the spike; it is the cylindrical plant tissue that has a pointed tip. The coleoptile encloses the first 4 to 5 leaves of the corn plant. The final step in germination is the formation of the lateral seminal roots near the dent of the kernel.

The role of the seminal root system (radical & lateral seminal roots) is to anchor the young plant and to absorb water and nutrients for the first two to three weeks of the young corn plants life. The seminal root system helps support the plant until the permanent root system can be established.

After germination is completed, the next process is emergence. The first step in the emergence process is the mesocotyl elongating. The mesocotyl pushes the coleoptile towards the soil surface. Once the coleoptile senses light at the soil surface the leaves in the coleoptile ruptures the end of the coleoptile and the first true leaf emerges. Once the first leaf emerges emergence is completed.

I hope this encourages you to hold on, and to get your butt into proper placement. I believe that has to do with your local church. I know we don't "need" a church to be close to God... but we do need each other to accomplish what we have been called to accomplish in this world. God bless.

A Silver Lining?

This blog is a culmination of recent events and other random thoughts, so here goes... hope it says something to you.

I, for one, know how easy it is to be critical --overly critical-- and negative. I believe most of us are to some degree. You hang around an organization (be it school, work, or, yes, even church)
long enough (for some that's an hour and for others it's 5+ years) and you are bound to find something you will criticize and dislike greatly. And I'm trying to make this sound as general as possible, because this happens in relationships too. When you are "too close" to the situation, you only see the blemish or the greyness of the cloud, and you miss the silver lining.

You need to step back a bit... I need to step back a bit.

This past Saturday, I had the privilege to live out a dream! I, along with three other buddies, played a gig (yes, I play every Sunday morning, but playing a rock show has a completely different atmosphere... anyway!). We were the opening band for three other bands. But at first we were all pretty negative about the whole thing. My friends were all nervous because they felt we were not good enough, nor, at least, ready enough. I wasn't nervous, but my attitude showed pretty much the same underlining feeling. My attitude was that we were the opening act so it didn't matter if we were not good or not. In the end, we rocked the place. Everyone who spoke with us said how awesome we were. The best band there (in my opinion) raved how tight we sounded, and could not believed that we only really had two practices with the full band. The band right after us also approached us about being their opening act for some other shows they were doing. And then the organizer/promoter of a festival in Beauce, Quebec (I'll find out the name of the festival) invited us to play at the festival next summer!!! Isn't that crazy.

The next thing was that I had a pretty crappy father's day. My own dad wanted to go to his church picnic/bbq... in Croatian that means roast pork on a spit, not my idea of fun. I was hurt by this, that my father seemed to want to spend time with his friends and not his own son. Plus all I got was some shirts... anyone who knows me well knows I don't like getting clothes as gifts (you NEED clothes, they should never be gifts), but a CD or a DVD or just even some chocolate would have been awesome. So I was feeling pretty down on myself and on my dad in particular.

Then I read Praise in the Pain by my friend Kirtsen (haha, it's where I got the title... pretty smart, huh!). Anyway, what she wrote there sort of hit me. We're all broken people in one way or another, but when you make Jesus your Lord and accept His sacrifice and His forgiveness, all your wounds are healed. But, like with any wound, a scar is left behind. I keep picking at these scars rather than praising God for healing them. In fact, more often than not, I'm digging up these scars and finding the old wounds underneath... but are they really the old wounds or am I allowing the same, but new, wounds to be made in the same place (ooooo, pretty philosophical, my brother might be proud :).

Which leads me to the last "event", which happened this evening. I was writing in my dad's Father's day card... I felt no urgency to write in it sooner since we were not going to see him Sunday. I tried to get him a card that made some general Happy Father's day thoughts, but with a Christian overtone, because he wasn't the type of father that taught me how to hit or throw a baseball, or how to ride my bike, or any of those things. He wasn't the type of father I thought I wanted. Hmmm, it's hard when you long for something, but you don't get it... ever. I painted a much worse picture of my dad in my mind and heart than he really was... but again, I was missing the silver lining.

Let me share what the card said:
FRONT:

A Father's Love is a Blessing Always

That's even more profound than when I read it first or when I read it earlier this evening. That alone I can spend hours dissecting.
INSIDE, LEFT-HAND SIDE:

Thanks be to God for His gifts - 2 Corinthians 9:15

INSIDE, RIGHT-HAND SIDE:

You're a very special person,
and though the generous spirit
that you always share,
you bring the very heart of God's love
to everyone you meet.
The world is a better place
because of you,
and you deserve
a Father's Day that's just
as blessed as you are.

Honestly, on the surface, I did not really believe this of my dad. But as I was writing, something hit me... if my dad was really such a terrible person, how in the world did I turn out ok (minus the ticks, idiosyncrasies, OCDisms, quick temper, etc... :) I know that God can change many things in us... but no, I've always been a moral person... where'd that come from? I have always be ready to help others... where'd that come from? I know my dad's not perfect, but neither am I... yet somehow, I turned out ok. OK enough for a woman (Cindy) and her mother to deem me marriageable. OK enough to land and keep a fairly secure job at Dawson. OK enough to have the wisdom, intelligence and acquire the knowledge to own my own home, as well as a separate revenue generating property. OK enough to become a dad myself. Now, ultimately, Eliya will be the deciding factor of really how good a father my father was... but I now have no doubts how that one will end.

In our "fast food", "microwaveable" world, it is so easy to miss the long-term picture and thus miss the silver-lining.

New Ramblings!

Hmmm... It's been a while, eh!
I've realized that sometimes, you need to work things out before you write about them. Journaling is great and all, but being an emotional person--who can run really high one day and be totally low the next--sometimes, some of my thoughts need to be worked through first.

Well, let's get up-to-date.

I've had a baby... Well, my wife had the baby. Her name is Eliya, and she is the most precious gift I have received besides the gift of (eternal and earthly) life from God and the gift of a married life with my wife. I'll probably start a blog for her too... PSYCHO-BLOG-GUY... That's me :)

What else?

Well, we have started our Young-Adults ministry. It's far from the vision I've had for this, but we've been meeting for the past 6 Fridays, and the turn-out has been good. Right now, it's like another worship service... We have some nice acoustic, intimate worship, and a great word (OK, so I'm tooting my own horn :)

Ultimately, I think we're having fun... Well, with some hiccups along the way. But, I think that's par for the course.

I was reading some of my past entries... And I have to repent a bit, especially in regards to the entry entitled the Fellowship - All Alone

I was getting discouraged. I was ready to quit. It has not been easy working full-time, having a newborn to care for, my wife and baby have had an infection for the last month, working with different people--who all have their own ideas (not necessarily a bad thing, but it is a lot more work)--, dealing with some crap at work (oops, am I allowed to write crap?), not feeling well physically, ... Should I complain more? :) ... Oh, yeah, being pissed at God... oooo, are you allowed to be pissed at God?

(BTW, for those who don't know me, I'm pretty irreverent towards "sacred cows" of Christianity... If you think you can't be angry with God, read some Psalms... Of course you can't stay there!)

Anyway, I was reminded of my commitment to see this through to the end. I was reminded of my own words, that I would not quit, NO MATTER WHAT. I was reminded that the reason I even stepped into leading and pastoring this Young Adults (College-Age) ministry was because God asked me to, and I said yes.

Anyway, say a little prayer for me today. I know I have stuff to work on in my own life... But doesn't everyone... However, this will not stop me from moving forward and doing what God has asked me to do.

TTYS!

The Fellowship - All Alone

This morning I am all alone. I guess everyone else was either tired (I understand that one ;) ), forgot or had some other pressing appointment. But that's ok, because I believe this was God's plan to get me here alone.

I sensed that God was asking me, "If you were the only one to do this, the only one willing to stand for me on behalf of this generation of youth, will you?" The funny thing is that I could never do everything this ministry is going to accomplish on my own, and God knows that. But that is also not the question God is asking me.

Will I stand? In prayer? In deed? In words? Yes, of course. Even if I was the only one, I would do whatever I had to do, whatever God wanted me to do. It doesn't mean it is easy. Obviously, I want me wife to stand beside me on this. Of course, I want friends and family to support me and help me. Of course, I want my pastors to watch my back, guide me, teach me and lead me. But what if I was the only one?

"What if" questions are so easy to answer when you don't think about them, because they are so unlikely to happen. But when we ponder them for a bit, they are much harder, because they force us to look at our motivations and our heart attitude.

When I look at my life, everything I do, I do because I believe I am bringing God glory and I am doing what God wants me to do. Right now, I feel like I could sleep for a week. I feel like a two week vacation would not help me recover my strength. I feel burnt out. But, I continue with everything because I love my God. I serve in church, because I don't know how else to show Jesus how much I love Him and how thankful I am for His sacrifice and love for me. I work, really, only to put food on the table and pay my bills. I know that God opened this door for me, but my heart longs to serve in the church, serve God's purposes in Montreal, and serve His people, and from that make my living. I know that Scriptures say that in everything we do, do it for the glory of God. I know that I can fulfill the purposes of God at my job... It's just that it doesn't fit the passions in me.

Ultimately, all I want to do is work for God in any way, especially in the ways that God has shown me through visions and dreams in my heart. I do want to glorify God with this ministry, and though it may be hard, and even if no one else is willing to be a part of it... I know that the vision in my heart is what this ministry is supposed to be--I'm going to sound conceited and maybe "big-headed" right now, but--if it is not implement as such, it won't grow and it won't have much fruit. I know I am supposed to lead this ministry. Exactly in what capacity, I am not sure. But just like Ezra was called to lead the Israelites to rebuild the temple and lead them back into a right relationship with God, I know that I am called to lead this building of this ministry. Just like Ezra took it personally when he found out that the Israelites had broken God's commands by intermarrying with the pagan nations, I take it personally when God's people don't seem to care about the youth and college-aged people of this beautiful city. I take it personally when people seem to be worried about their own well-being rather than the well-being of a whole generation of people, that they themselves are part of.

O, Father, forgive us! Forgive us for not heeding Your Words, Your promptings, Your nudges. Forgive us for our selfish attitudes, worrying about our own well-being and needs. Father forgive me for "protecting" my time from You. But also teach me Your proper balance. Prune away the things I really have no business being in. Circumcise our hearts, O Lord. Make us right before You. Guide us in this endeavour. Give us the wisdom we will need. Give us the revelation we need. Give us the passion and desire we need. Teach us, impact us, with Your Love!

Amen.

The Fellowship - August 2nd, 2005

One of the other people who come to the prayer meeting was reading Joshua that morning. Joshua 1 is just so relevant to us and to this ministry at this time. We are entering our "Ppromised Land" in a sense. And we need to remember God's promises to never leave or forsake us, as well as, God' commands to remain strong and courageous, and to keep His Word in our hearts. But, it is really Joshua 3, specifically verse 5, that formed the crux of our prayer this morning. It reads:

"Joshua told the people, 'Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you.'"

Other translations use words such as "sanctify" or "purify". It essentially means to seperate yourself for a special purpose, most often relating to some purpose of God. In essence, it is speaking of holiness, or in other words a higher, godly standard.

There is no way we can succeed and move forward with God without a higher level of holiness. It is even more true when it comes to leadership, starting a new ministry, or your own destiny. The great thing is that we don't really do anything, except for trusting in God's grace, Word, and strength.

Two thoughts came to me as we were praying. The first had to do with circumsicion. Part of what the Israelites had to do to be sanctified was to be circumcised. Of course, God is not necessarily asking the men in this college-aged ministry to get circumcised physically, but rather to have our hearts circumcised, as Paul mentions in Romans 2:29.

The second thought was based on John 15, the parable of the vine and the branches, specifically about the Father, the gardener or vinedresser, who prunes His vines and branches. Sometimes, holiness has to do with pruning even some good things from our lives, so that our energy and strength can go to producing the best fruit God has planned for us. If we are spread too thin, we will only produce little fruit.

Ultimately, holiness, circumcision of the heart, pruning, all has to do with our heart attitude. Are we ready to follow God anywhere? Are we willing to do anything for God? Are we willing to possibly look stupid for God? Are we willing to lay down our lives? Are we willing to pick up our crosses?

Another thought that came from the Joshua reading was that God's victory and His ways are often illogical to our way of thinking. I truly believe that this ministry will defy our standard way of thinking about youth and college ministries. It will be a miracle-laced ministry that will astound everyone... even the leadership :) ... actually, especially the leadership.

Our prayer then turned to praying about our tools and weapons for completing this task. We will put our hands to the plow and we will not look back (Luke 9:62). We do have the tools and the weapons. We are not empty handed! (2 Corinthians 6:7, 2 Corinthians 10:4, Hebrews 4:12, Ephesians 6:10-20) . We are also never alone!!! (Deuteronomy 31:6, 8, Joshua 1:5, Psalm 9:10, Psalm 94:14, Hebrews 13:5)

We also prayed for revelation and vision for this fall (i.e. what will we do? details). We even prayed for revelation for those who are to be part of this vision and ministry, but are not even aware of it yet. I believe there are people who already have dreams and vision that fit into this ministry, and a fire will be set aflame in them as soon as they hear about it.

YOUR Will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Your Will! God's Will!

Amen!

The Fellowship -- The "Craftsmen" are coming!

Again, prayer was awesome Tuesday morning. I was a little early, so I took the chance to read from my One Year Bible. The reading was 1 Chronicles 28:1-29:30. Basically, King David is coming to the end of his life. Solomon, his son is being made the new king of Israel. And David has prepared all the materials for the building of the Temple of the Lord. However, he is told by God that he cannot build, but Solomon will. Chapters 28 and 29 are basically David's prayer for Solomon and the people for the building of the Temple. That's a serious abbreviation of those chapters. Really, what is important, at least in regards to the prayer meeting and what touched me, came from verses 20-21 from chapter 28. It reads in the :

"And David said to his son Solomon, 'Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the LORD God--my God--will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the LORD. Here are the divisions of the priests and the Levites for all the service of the house of God; and every willing craftsman will be with you for all manner of workmanship, for every kind of service; also the leaders and all the people will be completely at your command.'"

There are a number of truths here that struck me, relating to this kick-off in prayer for the College-aged ministry. First, God is with us! He will never forsake us, and He will be with us to the end. Second, in the New Living Translation, it reads, "Don't be afraid or discouraged by the size of the task." That encouraged me, because, truly, this is a huge project, but God is in charge. He is the one making the plans, and bringing in the people. Thank God for that! And third, there will be people to work this vision, from the "Levites" (like the musicians, pastors, etc...) to the "willing craftsmen". This was a great encouragement to me. Often, at least it seems so to me, it is so hard to get people to help and to serve in the church or in some particular ministry. I don't know if it is that people are just lukewarm or they're all looking for that "podium" or "superstar" position. No one seems to want to do the dirty work, or the behind-the-scenes stuff.

At least, that's how it has seemed with the worship team at my church. For the last four and a half years, we've been renting, and so we have had to set-up and takedown our music equipment and sound system every week. And pretty much the only people doing it faithfully and regularly are the guys on the music team (and not all the guys, mind you). The ladies help us out with takedown. We've asked people. We've invited them to be part of the team. But, in general, they have not stuck with it or stuck with any noticeable consistency. OK... I've taken a tangent... Sorry.

The point... God is preparing and bringing in all the workers and craftsmen that will be needed. It so awesome to know that, at least, this part is taken care of!

Anyway, to the actual prayer time. I don't remember specifics of our prayer. A lot was based on the above Scripture; some about specific people to be part of this ministry; and some on praying in the entrepreneurial and artistic spirit of this ministry.

Another great point that came out of the prayer was the idea that for the people involved, that this dream, vision, and ministry would not be something we fit into our lives and schedule, or fit around our work and other activities. But rather, that it would be our life's work, and that our lives, our work, our activities would fit into this dream! Of course, this is based on Matthew 6:33. Too often we worry about our needs and wants to the point that we forget about doing God's work and God's calling on our lives... Oh, we still go to church and serve here and there, but we're missing that special thing/job/work/place God has for us, where all other things, basically, become unimportant and taken care of!

Some words that came out of the prayer, that I think will describe this group of people, this generation:

RISK-TAKERS
WATER-WALKERS

Finally, as we were praying, I felt as if God was just downloading ideas for businesses or maybe just all the types of businesses that will be represented in and through this ministry. I even sensed that there would be a warehouse-styled complex housing all these ideas. Here they are in no particular order:

• Coffeeshop (that one's mine :)
• Radio Station
• Music Store (CDs)
• internet Cafe
• Bookstore & Resource centre (Christian books)
• Skate Park
• Skate Store (Boards and clothes)
• 24/7 Prayer & Worship Centre
• Production Studio
• Recording/Sound Studio
• Snack Bar
• Art Studio
• graffiti Area
• Theatre (for plays and concerts and conferences and movies)
• Lighting Company
• Sound Tech Company
• Graphics design company

And there were just some random thoughts with all these business ideas:

• TV in the coffeeshop, which would show programs and movies we would produce
• Ministage in coffeeshop for concerts and "open" mic-styles worship times
• Comedy nights :)

That's it! It's a lot. But God is in control. Hallelujah!

The Fellowship--Prayer ... The day after!

I just wanted to update you on how the prayer time went on Wednesday morning. It was great... As if that is a surprise :)

Really, there were two words that came out of that prayer time that stirred something in my heart and spirit. One was that this college-aged ministry is anointed with an entrepreneurial spirit. What does this mean? I don't fully know yet... But certainly, this will not be a typical youth ministry that meets Friday evenings, does some worship and has a guest speaker... Not that we won't be doing that as well, but I believe that there are young people with dreams, looking for a place to dream and grow in faith to step out into those dreams!

Nuff said on that for now.

The second word was about the arts and creativity. I strongly feel that the arts will be a big part of this college-age ministry. I also saw a production studio, producing films, shows, music, etc... In this.

OK, so there's obviously a lot of "work" to be done. And as I have mentioned, we will not start anything without spending lots of time in prayer.