This morning I am all alone. I guess everyone else was either tired (I understand that one ;) ), forgot or had some other pressing appointment. But that's ok, because I believe this was God's plan to get me here alone.
I sensed that God was asking me, "If you were the only one to do this, the only one willing to stand for me on behalf of this generation of youth, will you?" The funny thing is that I could never do everything this ministry is going to accomplish on my own, and God knows that. But that is also not the question God is asking me.
Will I stand? In prayer? In deed? In words? Yes, of course. Even if I was the only one, I would do whatever I had to do, whatever God wanted me to do. It doesn't mean it is easy. Obviously, I want me wife to stand beside me on this. Of course, I want friends and family to support me and help me. Of course, I want my pastors to watch my back, guide me, teach me and lead me. But what if I was the only one?
"What if" questions are so easy to answer when you don't think about them, because they are so unlikely to happen. But when we ponder them for a bit, they are much harder, because they force us to look at our motivations and our heart attitude.
When I look at my life, everything I do, I do because I believe I am bringing God glory and I am doing what God wants me to do. Right now, I feel like I could sleep for a week. I feel like a two week vacation would not help me recover my strength. I feel burnt out. But, I continue with everything because I love my God. I serve in church, because I don't know how else to show Jesus how much I love Him and how thankful I am for His sacrifice and love for me. I work, really, only to put food on the table and pay my bills. I know that God opened this door for me, but my heart longs to serve in the church, serve God's purposes in Montreal, and serve His people, and from that make my living. I know that Scriptures say that in everything we do, do it for the glory of God. I know that I can fulfill the purposes of God at my job... It's just that it doesn't fit the passions in me.
Ultimately, all I want to do is work for God in any way, especially in the ways that God has shown me through visions and dreams in my heart. I do want to glorify God with this ministry, and though it may be hard, and even if no one else is willing to be a part of it... I know that the vision in my heart is what this ministry is supposed to be--I'm going to sound conceited and maybe "big-headed" right now, but--if it is not implement as such, it won't grow and it won't have much fruit. I know I am supposed to lead this ministry. Exactly in what capacity, I am not sure. But just like Ezra was called to lead the Israelites to rebuild the temple and lead them back into a right relationship with God, I know that I am called to lead this building of this ministry. Just like Ezra took it personally when he found out that the Israelites had broken God's commands by intermarrying with the pagan nations, I take it personally when God's people don't seem to care about the youth and college-aged people of this beautiful city. I take it personally when people seem to be worried about their own well-being rather than the well-being of a whole generation of people, that they themselves are part of.
O, Father, forgive us! Forgive us for not heeding Your Words, Your promptings, Your nudges. Forgive us for our selfish attitudes, worrying about our own well-being and needs. Father forgive me for "protecting" my time from You. But also teach me Your proper balance. Prune away the things I really have no business being in. Circumcise our hearts, O Lord. Make us right before You. Guide us in this endeavour. Give us the wisdom we will need. Give us the revelation we need. Give us the passion and desire we need. Teach us, impact us, with Your Love!
Amen.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
The Fellowship - August 2nd, 2005
One of the other people who come to the prayer meeting was reading Joshua that morning. Joshua 1 is just so relevant to us and to this ministry at this time. We are entering our "Ppromised Land" in a sense. And we need to remember God's promises to never leave or forsake us, as well as, God' commands to remain strong and courageous, and to keep His Word in our hearts. But, it is really Joshua 3, specifically verse 5, that formed the crux of our prayer this morning. It reads:
There is no way we can succeed and move forward with God without a higher level of holiness. It is even more true when it comes to leadership, starting a new ministry, or your own destiny. The great thing is that we don't really do anything, except for trusting in God's grace, Word, and strength.
Two thoughts came to me as we were praying. The first had to do with circumsicion. Part of what the Israelites had to do to be sanctified was to be circumcised. Of course, God is not necessarily asking the men in this college-aged ministry to get circumcised physically, but rather to have our hearts circumcised, as Paul mentions in Romans 2:29.
The second thought was based on John 15, the parable of the vine and the branches, specifically about the Father, the gardener or vinedresser, who prunes His vines and branches. Sometimes, holiness has to do with pruning even some good things from our lives, so that our energy and strength can go to producing the best fruit God has planned for us. If we are spread too thin, we will only produce little fruit.
Ultimately, holiness, circumcision of the heart, pruning, all has to do with our heart attitude. Are we ready to follow God anywhere? Are we willing to do anything for God? Are we willing to possibly look stupid for God? Are we willing to lay down our lives? Are we willing to pick up our crosses?
Another thought that came from the Joshua reading was that God's victory and His ways are often illogical to our way of thinking. I truly believe that this ministry will defy our standard way of thinking about youth and college ministries. It will be a miracle-laced ministry that will astound everyone... even the leadership :) ... actually, especially the leadership.
Our prayer then turned to praying about our tools and weapons for completing this task. We will put our hands to the plow and we will not look back (Luke 9:62). We do have the tools and the weapons. We are not empty handed! (2 Corinthians 6:7, 2 Corinthians 10:4, Hebrews 4:12, Ephesians 6:10-20) . We are also never alone!!! (Deuteronomy 31:6, 8, Joshua 1:5, Psalm 9:10, Psalm 94:14, Hebrews 13:5)
We also prayed for revelation and vision for this fall (i.e. what will we do? details). We even prayed for revelation for those who are to be part of this vision and ministry, but are not even aware of it yet. I believe there are people who already have dreams and vision that fit into this ministry, and a fire will be set aflame in them as soon as they hear about it.
YOUR Will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Your Will! God's Will!
Amen!
"Joshua told the people, 'Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you.'"Other translations use words such as "sanctify" or "purify". It essentially means to seperate yourself for a special purpose, most often relating to some purpose of God. In essence, it is speaking of holiness, or in other words a higher, godly standard.
There is no way we can succeed and move forward with God without a higher level of holiness. It is even more true when it comes to leadership, starting a new ministry, or your own destiny. The great thing is that we don't really do anything, except for trusting in God's grace, Word, and strength.
Two thoughts came to me as we were praying. The first had to do with circumsicion. Part of what the Israelites had to do to be sanctified was to be circumcised. Of course, God is not necessarily asking the men in this college-aged ministry to get circumcised physically, but rather to have our hearts circumcised, as Paul mentions in Romans 2:29.
The second thought was based on John 15, the parable of the vine and the branches, specifically about the Father, the gardener or vinedresser, who prunes His vines and branches. Sometimes, holiness has to do with pruning even some good things from our lives, so that our energy and strength can go to producing the best fruit God has planned for us. If we are spread too thin, we will only produce little fruit.
Ultimately, holiness, circumcision of the heart, pruning, all has to do with our heart attitude. Are we ready to follow God anywhere? Are we willing to do anything for God? Are we willing to possibly look stupid for God? Are we willing to lay down our lives? Are we willing to pick up our crosses?
Another thought that came from the Joshua reading was that God's victory and His ways are often illogical to our way of thinking. I truly believe that this ministry will defy our standard way of thinking about youth and college ministries. It will be a miracle-laced ministry that will astound everyone... even the leadership :) ... actually, especially the leadership.
Our prayer then turned to praying about our tools and weapons for completing this task. We will put our hands to the plow and we will not look back (Luke 9:62). We do have the tools and the weapons. We are not empty handed! (2 Corinthians 6:7, 2 Corinthians 10:4, Hebrews 4:12, Ephesians 6:10-20) . We are also never alone!!! (Deuteronomy 31:6, 8, Joshua 1:5, Psalm 9:10, Psalm 94:14, Hebrews 13:5)
We also prayed for revelation and vision for this fall (i.e. what will we do? details). We even prayed for revelation for those who are to be part of this vision and ministry, but are not even aware of it yet. I believe there are people who already have dreams and vision that fit into this ministry, and a fire will be set aflame in them as soon as they hear about it.
YOUR Will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Your Will! God's Will!
Amen!
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